I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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