don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
