i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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