shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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