i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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