So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
