Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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