True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
