I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
