She's JV to your varsity
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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