I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
