My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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