I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Can I color on your dick again?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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