Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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