3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
