just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
