Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
