ya dads aren't the best wingmen
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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