I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
