Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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