Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(606): View more from Kentucky

how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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(802): View more from Vermont

She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.

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(631): View more from New York

Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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(637): View more from

I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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(917): View more from New York City

I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.

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(906): View more from Michigan

It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.

(1-906): View more from Michigan

Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.

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(514): View more from Quebec

I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.

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(216): View more from Ohio

we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure

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