I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
