I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
