You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
