you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
