Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
