I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
