PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
