birth control should be required to get into college
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
