I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
