Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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