Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
