Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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