God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Panties = found
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
