theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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