You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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