No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
