also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
