Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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