If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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