he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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