the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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