i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
