Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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