there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
