so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
