I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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