hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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