Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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