Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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