Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
