I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
