This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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