i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
