i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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