I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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