i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
