Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
